in the simplest terms

The last year has saved me.

Perhaps it’s more complete to say that the last year has formed me. It’s formed me in a way that I hadn’t previously known I needed to be formed, molded, and changed. That’s a wondrous part about the Lord, isn’t it? He uses circumstances quite outside of our understanding (pandemic, apathetic feelings toward the church your currently in, a starvation for something more, change, decades of uneasiness without a pinpoint cause) and He brings you to a ledge.

And He pushes you toward it but never over. Just enough. And you trust because you know that it’s the only thing you can do. Partly because, “why not” but mainly because you know Him and His promises and His goodness.

The last year, in so many ways that I can’t write down now due to time, the Lord has changed me in the last year. I’ve also stayed very much the same. I’d like to think that the parts that needed changing were ones that lay dormant for years and they are starting to come alive again.

This year I was gifted the chance to see a full view of the church, God’s mission, His plan, and the totality of the story. Not perfectly, mind you. But in a whole way that I had not seen before.

And thanks be to God for that.

“O God, from who to be turned is to fall,

to whom to be turned is to rise,

and with whom to stand

is to abide forever;

grant us in all our duties your help,

in all our perplexities your guidance,

in all our dangers your protection,

and in all our sorrows your peace,

through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

-Augustine of Hippo (354-430)

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